Saturday, June 12, 2010

Day 370


I tend to not read.
Such common reading materials I use, NY Times, Hemingway, Jane Austen, articles, poems, I catch in passing I tend to draw out lengthy explanations and wordy responses to original thoughts and I use a lot of words to say virtually nothing at all. Saying it in order to just announce that i will be saying something at the end of this non-incendiary statement. For what its worth the way I think, and the way I take in information can trouble me too much to the point that my emotional comprehension moves at such a rate faster than my practical comprehension that I am often drawn to move out of line wiht my own thoughts or action. Perpetual distraction .
So thats one reason I don't read.
The other is I tend to abhor the tedious drivel of most self centered narcissistic writers, such as myself and the problem is I can't seem to ignore the underlying narrative of a writer unknowingly exposing himself and his real intentions while presenting a piece of investigated, or at the very least, seriously contemplated piece of thought. I hear the intention behind their presumptions, and I'm left to recognize that every writer has to seek out evidence of the ideas they already gave birth to a thousand times over. Seeking out the brilliance of mastered words can reaffirm my own brilliance.
and here in an attempt to dispel another person's mistake in reading, I found my own fault in not doing so.
Thirdly tho I would make the point that often finding out the truth of a writer's intention can make it hard to take their shroud statement seriously. So I tend to not read highly political pieces in restraint from leaving the group to then absorb myself into an anti-group group. Political unity never gets truly examined. its always one political platform hiding behind any interest with the broadest potential market, supplanting their agenda with supportive evidence and swaying materials that support their main issue.
At the end of it, I feel like the ideas I've had in my head, that are just there as a product of the ideas that have always existed, ideas that we all share, individually our own, and collectively shared, are never fully expressed as perfectly as they are in my own head.

so i'm kind of like a one man communist nation.