Day 240

I want to make sure I am positive and that I write it down when I'm in an EXCELLENT mood.

I uncovered a lot of layers today. Learned about Freud's Repetition Compulsion. the "
"cause of repetitive reliving of negative experiences"

A lot of the time, even the casual conversations I carry out are a re-enactment of past negative experiences. I attract, and subsequently seek negative attention to supplement an early emotion that I was unable to work out productively at the time of the original negative incident. Since that emotion was unresolved, it came out in anger, resentment, combative language, arrogance, and dramatic "shady" behavior to people.

It's an extremely wonderful feeling to realise that my responses need not rely on reliving this experience over and over again.


I want to name names but that would be irrelevant and unproductive.

For now, I'm jamming to a running mix - except I'm not running. I'm about to fold laundry, hang out at 420 , and take a nap. LOL

FEELIN GOOD


and I think I might want to go to Law School?



Music:
Obsessed remix - Mariah Carey ft. Gucci Mane
What You Know - Nicki Minaj
Makes Me Wanna Pray - Christina Aguilera
Obsessed (Jumpsmokers remix) - Mariah Carey
Scared of Lonely - Beyonce
Don't Rain on My Parade - Lea Michele (Glee)
The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson
I Wanna Take You Higher - Tina Turner
Candy Bling remix - Mariah Carey ft. T-Pain
Save Me - Aretha Franklin
I'm Gettin Paid - Nicki Minaj
Standing O - Mariah Carey
Get Up Offa That Thing - James Brown
The Best - Tina Turner
I Get Crazy - Nicki Minaj
Fantasy (Def Club Remix) - Mariah Carey
Shakin it For Daddy - Robin Thick ft. Nicki Minaj
Little Freak - Usher ft. Nicki Minaj
Angels Cry - Mariah Carey & Neyo
Obsessed (Jumpsmokers remix) - Mariah Carey
I Invented Sex remix- Trey Songz Usher & Keri Hilson
Don't Forget About Us (tony moran radio edit) - Mariah Carey