Day 5

I want it to happen right away -- that is, everything.

ok so this morning was supposed to be bootcamp. I woke up at 5:45 in his bed -- was sooo nice spending Sunday with him and of course the sex was top notch. Sucks that I didn't get much sleep but I was encouraged to get up and start the day and work out.

I get outside and its raining. Class is cancelled. I was almost tempted to go back upstairs but I said fuck it - go home get ready for work and get to the gym before hand. I commited to working out - so what that it wasn't bootcamp class.

workout consisted of:

4 set Superset

B.O.R 90lbs (bent over row) w/bar (10-10-8-6)

RDL 90lbs (romanian dead lift) w/bar (12-10-10- 8)

4 set Superset:

Incline Bench press (2 sets 90lbs - 1 set 80lbs) (12-10-8- 6)

dumbell squats 2olbs (12-12-12-10)

4 set Superset:

stationary lunges 15lbs dumbells (12-12-12-12)

pull up (close underhand grip) (6-6-4-4)

1 mile run 8:42

the run was tough --- I wanted to give up at the half mile but then Tina Turner - Simply the Best came on the Ipod and really pushed me through.

I always have this great shakey feeling at the end of a work out. my heart is pounding my knees are shaking. I'm dripping sweat. It's very close to sex.

The combination of a renewed friendship with him -- and somehow a deeper intimacy level from him - with my working out has me feeling on top of the world.

Of course I am still the fragile tulip I've always been and am feeling insecure despite having no good reason to. Here's to just taking it easy on myself and forgiving myself for wanting to text him 800 times right now and tell him how much I love him -- just because I want to doesn't mean I have to or that I should. I don't have to plan a wedding today -- I only have to be happy and be happy he's in my life someway.

more tomorrow.